How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
