I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
