You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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