He kissed a someone with a penis
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
