either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
