I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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