I think i peed on brittanys purse
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
