Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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