please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
