Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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