loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
