Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
