she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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