omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
