You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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