Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
