I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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