Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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