Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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