I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
