BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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