Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm always down for nudity.
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