What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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