dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
