That's intense
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
