Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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