I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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