I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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