After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
