when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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