i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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