Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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