Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
why do cheetos always look like penises
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So squirting runs in the family.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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