Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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