But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
