I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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