Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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