porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
