I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize