i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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