It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
