my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
porn star boner night. come get it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
