i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
