**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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