Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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