1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
