It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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