I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
