how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
