your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
