she kept yelling 'call me bella'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
