I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
