Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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