she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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