You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
