I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
