I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
