wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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