Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
