we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I supernannyed him into submission
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
