You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
