you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
