it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
