they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize