My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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