Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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